Sunday, July 5, 2020
Taking the Some Prominent People of the Creme of the Crop of My Relationships
It seems the people I meet the older lady I like has fun with but it ruins our relationship in ways that I bet are on purpose also because people said I was in trouble, so that was the determining factor, which I didn't do anything that bad.
Website Update
I updated this page with 3 entries, the 1st having been there already.
Attractive Musical Family (2015 or 2016?)
I watched a musical and saw there was an attractive floutist in the orchestra pit. I think they are local musicians, but I am not sure. Anyway, she had short red hair and was fairly thin and medium-tall. As I was waiting at the backstage door, I saw her come out I think. Her husband was barely taller, with probably fair balding hair, slumped over, one of those young professor looks, probably a beard and moustache, but I saw him from the back and maybe not the front. Anyway, the daughter was a little shorter with smooth wavy white hair, probably natural. She was cute, kinda thin but supple, you may get the picture. This may have been like 2015 or 2016 in Orlando, Florida, US.
Mother Who Looked About Just Like Someone Else (2016-2017?)
She had short gray hair and an upturned sorta snoot nose but in a good way. Her husband was taller and obese. She had several daughters I think, and the youngest was sweet and tried to say how the night was special it seemed to me. I was at a concert of the organ here in Orlando, Florida, USA.
A Polish Lady Who Looked Just Like Someone Else, the Same Lady as the Last Entry (DVD)
I borrowed a DVD from the library, and there were 3 on racism, all of which I did watched. It turned out to be mostly about Black people. They showed black and white video footage of people in the US being segregated. They showed Polish people, and first I saw one of them looked like a Polish violin teacher I had born around 1961 or 1962. She had bleached hair some below her shoulders and bangs. The lady in the video looked mad. Then, I saw one who looked like the lady the last one looked like but in a different way, almost the same, too. She had short gray hair and looked dressed up well for a woman. She looked full of good things, and it seemed people took advantage of the opportunity and didn't really bother with her, despite how attractive she was. She was Polish. The lady I'm talking about that looks alike is German.
Attractive Mom at the Grocery Store With Her Kid Daughter (July 5, 2020)
The woman was not too short but somewhat tall, thin but well built, looked emotionally responsive, and had short mousy maybe brown gray hair, a little textured and wavy. The daughter was maybe around 9 years old with a dress on that covered her figure, and this was Sunday afternoon so maybe church. She had slightly wavy mousy brown hair. She was a little obese and looked different from her mom. I was happy and responsive and nice to walk by, thinking reminds me of being fatter than my own mom, but I figured she wouldn't like it because my mom was pretty much a staunch former athlete/dancer and there was not much of her mom's kind of emotion going on and not so much in the clear in ways often.
Well?
An older lady I like seems to be shimmying saying she talks to anyone but really moves up.
Also, I keep getting told I don't deserve it.
Too Sad
Someone died from a car during a Black protest. They should really sign on online and try to protest that way.
Why I'm Not in Church
Instead of having a private experience, they're just slowly picking at me for why I'm not more well-rested.
Where did all the magic and love go for Generation X?
It's those kids from the late 1970s and early 1980s I bet.
Bad Racists
I bet some bad people out there are comfortable being racist to me automatically but like I did something because it's protocol.
Others Joining Choirs, Me Joining the Orchestra
Why can't I seem to learn new things? Am I in talent menopause?
Saturday, July 4, 2020
"This is fine."
Why do people keep leaving me out! Ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) came out, I had problems...
So what if I seem to make a mistake? I'm left out in the cold! Something bad is bound to happen. No one cares.
If you wonder what I think...
...I think they are bad. Is that enough, or are you just asking me to curse about them?
Accused
So, what, some people don't matter at all to anyone anymore because they think I did something bad when I'm usually good?
Speaking out Against Talking About Racism
It's funny when white people speak out somehow/secretly against someone who is not all White making valid points about racism.
I think you're wrong.
When I spammed my friends, I was lonely and they didn't write me back that quickly and not after I e-mailed them again ... and it was advice they seemed to beg for. The environment I was in was confusing, the people outside the apartment we had to move to because of Hurricane Katrina in 2005, but this was 2007. Yes, I spammed them for months, but I said I was sorry for it in the messages and they didn't do anything. They are free to just block me without saying anything first, and one did. Anyway, it's none of your business, right? You're just wasting your life, anyway.
Not That, Especially Simple
It might be easy to understand a lot of confusing writing with me, but that's a good thing!
I may seem spritely, and you just associate that as being like a child. I am free to develop how I want.
Friday, July 3, 2020
Message Board Post by Me
(film|boards)
Topic by Me, Continued From Last Post
People who fight for black rights just hate police because they look German-American. They think they are racist.
Message Board Post by Me
(flim|boards)
Topic by Me
What do you think of the people fighting for how Blacks are treated?
I don't think they really care and are really racist. They just feel sick that the police act mean often more to Black people because the police are mean to them, too. Most police look German-American, and, since most Americans are not that German-American it seems, they resent the racist police who look German-American and attractive because they don't tend to be social to them, they think. They feel like the victim of racism, and most of them are not German-American or Scandinavian. I think another clue is that they don't fight for the rights of people who are half White half Asian, and within Eurasians there is racism for who's from Europe and who doesn't know if they're Native American indian, as genealogy tests have unknown sections and change the results sometimes.
Topic by Me
What do you think of the people fighting for how Blacks are treated?
I don't think they really care and are really racist. They just feel sick that the police act mean often more to Black people because the police are mean to them, too. Most police look German-American, and, since most Americans are not that German-American it seems, they resent the racist police who look German-American and attractive because they don't tend to be social to them, they think. They feel like the victim of racism, and most of them are not German-American or Scandinavian. I think another clue is that they don't fight for the rights of people who are half White half Asian, and within Eurasians there is racism for who's from Europe and who doesn't know if they're Native American indian, as genealogy tests have unknown sections and change the results sometimes.
People Who Are Nice to Asians
So, what, I'm bad if I like Asian things too but "White" things just as much?
Friends and Family are Foe
Some people I am related to or was friends with can't get on a good rapport so life can be worth it.
"Okay, I'm okay, now."
People ruin the world and say it's okay to come out now because they've ruined everyone else's lives to catch up.
Joke
People don't know who I was all growing up.
People I'm related to think they know the real me because I'm 1/2 Asian and they simply knew me since I was born or when they were older enough to remember for if some are younger... not that I'm "half bad." They just know they knew me and have a preset disposition of racism towards me.
Traitors
An older lady I like keeps being made to be seen as better than me and others, and they use it against me now.
Accusational
I feel some people chose to accuse me if something can be seen as either ordinary or out of the ordinary that I do, that technically did not have an assignment but left me wondering.
Everyone's on the lose, now school's over.
My generation is in high places, we just don't see them on the big screen.
Wait 'til I die.
Would people be more social if something bad happened to me where I could not enjoy life?
No one has to talk to me, no one has to talk to you.
I grew up normal and well-accepted, and now people are acting iffy about me, like I'm different.
"Crazy" People
People today went crazy over jealousy of me and wanting in on classical music and musical theater, and the social scene is unsafe. They don't seem nice to me, some.
In Trouble for "Stupid" Reasons
I think things messed up when people didn't get that an older lady I like isn't some weirdo attacking me through them like they swear, and if I get upset I don't really mean it against her but still wound up in trouble for stupid reasons.
Thursday, July 2, 2020
...And "What's So Good About THAT?"
What's so interesting about anyone if it's about their own family, and you can never get as close?
Wildly Suffering Since 2005
People are making sure I suffer racially since my generation left the house.
Give and Take in Some Situations
A full Asian cannot guarantee marriage to a Caucasian, but I can. However, a German might like an attractive Japanese or even Chinese over me.
Wednesday, July 1, 2020
Good Kids?
People like to secretly/telepathically indicate to successful part Asians that even if you're good there's more and that's that we're not liked and shouldn't expect to pursue happiness. It's like you're in trouble to try to be happy with things in life and doing things that are okay to make it like that.
Seeing If They Can "Rat Me Out"
I grew up well-behaved and did well in school and was nice to other people. Other parents wanted to take me home, and the teachers wish everyone were me.
Now, why are some people trying to say there's a way to "rat me out" and as worse than the rest?
Betrayal
What do you think of people who worship you strangely only to stop and betray you, frequently happening?
Tuesday, June 30, 2020
Bothered
People know what I think in private because there are people monitoring me in private who somehow magically get the message across. No one comments on my blog, though. So, they go for what's most important and chose to mess around. They linger on it, for years, forever maybe. What about all the other good people? They must have productive lives. I somehow lose spirit and wonder if people are pretending I'm good because I'm part Chinese.
A smart question does not ask for a stupid answer.
"Children of the 90s"
In the early/mid 1990s, why did children appear not to know what was going on around them?
"Be Prepared"
So, let me get this straight. You weren't really doing homework, anyway, so you grew up with chores to get you ready for independence gradually starting at 16 until 18. So, everyone is a maid and has no brain?
Schools gave busywork and wasted the day talking to bad people and making us do busywork. We never learned much. We were told to go to boarding school as a teen if we wanted a shot at intelligence. I wanted to do music.
Baby Boomers had a feast every day, and so they still have energy, while their kids's generation didn't get to eat as much and are small and underfed, encouraged to diet, short and fat arranged in funny ways.
Monday, June 29, 2020
Sunday, June 28, 2020
A Popular Way to Wear Hair
Girls tie a ponytail with a bump with the hair pulled half through. That went outta style a long time ago maybe seemingly quickly, at least to some. Instead, they do that but upside down, a long time ago. I wonder what they do, now. I'm not 100% sure.
New Decision and Can't Go Back
I used to be considered a good, upstanding person, but something went screwy and just sorta ask someone from a cold country in Europe and they're mostly sorta shrug like it's questionable.
Superiority
The world is teaching Whites from Generation XYZ to respond to the fact they are superior to me.
Better
People used to say, despite what they did, it is better to like old fashioned things and prestigious people, but now the world is nothing.
Everyone acts like I'm bad and not to be a part of this life like everyone else.
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Message Board Post by Me
Topic by Me
They seem white, and Southern Europe is European, too.
Anyone Want That Seat Over There
Funny, people don't care about classical orchestral instrumental musicians the way the musicians themselves don't care about lead violinists.
Other people...
Other people don't get in trouble for thinking bad of me like the word "nigger" not being tapped into...
Classical Orchestral Instrumental Musicians Since Childhood
Don't tell a classically trained musician you love Beethoven's 9th Symphony, for example, because, I mean, don't expect a favorable reaction ... most normal places they are highly egotistical against people like me who can't play well enough/yet to be in an orchestra.
"Tested?"
People love singling other people out, like me or people I care about in weird ways. Not everyone gets tested.
At Risk
Californians want to be a part of the US more, but they want to attack vulnerable people like me who happen to have ancestors from Pennsylvania. There are others, of course, with ancestors from Pennsylvania and some in or from California.
Who's "bad," anyway?...
Why do bad people get stimulated more and the world revolve around them in ways they enjoy?
Also, I'm not bad just because other people are really good, like an explanation for who it was that caused a problem maybe no one even did or maybe someone else, like an adult figure or older person.
In Disagreement
If someone disagrees and is nice to you now will be mean later.
Who says? that I'm not as good? and that people can do that to me and like I'm that kind of person?
Also, some people say they are all that to others and then you find they're just stealing attention and are like the baby and stimulated etc.
Being Good
People used to know me as good. It just seems to slip conveniently that I don't matter as a person in general.
Message Board Post by Me
Re: What are some things you can do therapeutically?
How about play music with others in a classical orchestra rather than just at home whatever you can do?
I'm not heading for the end.
People from Generation X who had kids barged in and knocked the kids out with parents who were in their 30s and 40s at the time and said their kids can do anything and replace me because they, the kids, are from a younger generation.
I think, in classical music, kids think it's something special for them but think it is tacky to be expressive, like it's something new and they get to decide. It probably happens late at night when people are sleeping and floats around in the day in the subconscious.
You might try comparing kids today to generations between me and them, rather than just older ones like Generation X.
90's/00s' - Still Normal...
So, the 90's/00's theme was classical orchestral musical instrumentalists, as included, still going out and having fun like a teenager but feeling special.
Orchestra
Musicians are healthy musically from the therapy of being in the orchestra. They probably don't spend much of their practicing alone, like you do growing up playing a classical orchestral instrument.
Subconscious Tension From Different Countries About Germany
There is a lot of tension for people who are not German or not all/mostly German in liking Germany maybe especially.
Germans just feel mean to others that they have the most to show for.
Young Musicians Playing Classical Music in Berlin
In 2019, the European Union Youth Orchestra played Beethoven's 9th Symphony in Berlin. They even had a video of them playing live in the streets. Wow! They must have worked hard.
So, what about the local musicians of Berlin or other smaller cities in Germany?
Abuse - Relative Age
People seem to baby and favor the youngest child, no matter what the other children do.
Friday, June 26, 2020
German Comradery
Germans are very "close knit" and tend to stick together, probably only opening up when something's in it for them. They aren't always open to part-German Americans. It might depend on the rest of their "mix."
Finding Out
Sometimes, Germany and some surrounding countries seem open to the US so much, but I find they are living problems of the past still, now.
How do you decide what's right - hight?
If you were short, would you make fun of short people, say a girl who is 5'3"?
Message Board Post by Me
This is what's really going on with Disney, not necessarily to do with corona…
Downtown Disney became Disney Springs.
Splash Mountain will be replaced with The Princess and the Frog (2009,) supposedly because of racism in the background of Splash Mountain. The Princess and the Frog (2009) is a favorite of mine because it takes place in New Orleans, where I lived as a teenager, an added benefit?
Frozen (2013) seems to be stagnant, as well as one more hit made today. Not many new ideas for princesses, besides Tangled (2010,) which left a lasting mark, and Brave (2012.) These movies resemble 2 friends I had who I don't think I have much of a relationship with anymore..
Downtown Disney became Disney Springs.
Splash Mountain will be replaced with The Princess and the Frog (2009,) supposedly because of racism in the background of Splash Mountain. The Princess and the Frog (2009) is a favorite of mine because it takes place in New Orleans, where I lived as a teenager, an added benefit?
Frozen (2013) seems to be stagnant, as well as one more hit made today. Not many new ideas for princesses, besides Tangled (2010,) which left a lasting mark, and Brave (2012.) These movies resemble 2 friends I had who I don't think I have much of a relationship with anymore..
Unusual Things - Not Better
Traditionally, things like ballet and classical music are well-liked, but if someone does something odd, hard to do, and not really as appealing does not mean those other things go to waste.
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